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  • Lani Tons

I Will Always Remember and I Will Never Forget

I will never forget how I felt forcing myself to eat again. Anxious. Angry. Not ready.

I will always remember the feeling I get eating my favorite food, or just legit regular food. Free. Fueled. Empowered.

I will never forget the obsession I felt forcing myself to exercise. Troubled. Tired. Loathing.

I will always remember the feeling I get when I exercise. Refreshed. Strong. Happy.

I will never forget how I felt stepping on a scale every day. Enslaved. Obsessed. Dependent.

I will always remember the feeling I got when I threw my scale away. Liberated. Joyous. Brave.

Photo by Lani Tons

I will never forget from when I suffered from my eating disorder. Being controlled by your own mind is one of the scariest things you can endure.

Fighting your eating disorder is one of the bravest things you can do. Food doesn’t scare me like it used to. Exercise isn’t the only thing consuming my mind. The scale literally just tells you how much you weigh. I believe that society, the world, fitness influencers, Instagram, advertisements, and we, put these ridiculous meanings on things and we become subconsciously and utterly obsessed. I see it everyday. I continue to be an advocate for eating disorder recovery and promoting anti diet culture. It takes help from others & a big ass leap of faith.

You are more than the food you eat, the miles you run and the amount you weigh.

You can and will be: Free. Fueled. Empowered. Refreshed. Strong. Happy. Liberated.

Joyous.

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